Many of us dream of finding the love of our lives from a young age. With 61% of Americans agreeing they believe in “the one,” it’s no secret that we’re a nation of true romantics. But from dating to saying “I love you” to getting a pet to getting engaged, what does the average timeline of an American relationship look like?

And when we get to the engagement, what are our expectations, from its execution to timing and, of course, the engagement ring?

To answer these questions, we at Shane Co. have conducted a survey of 2,000 Americans to learn how relationships take shape in the U.S., as well as what we expect for our dream proposals.

The Average Relationship Timeline in the US

Every relationship will move at its own pace, but on average, it takes just over two years for couples in the U.S. to get engaged, and a further 19 months to get married. But before that, there are many other relationship milestones, from saying “I love you” to meeting the parents to knowing your partner was “the one.”

Professing love comes naturally for some, unable to hold in their feelings any longer. On average, it takes just over a year for Americans to say “I love you” — but around 50% say it in under three months. Gen Z is also the quickest to utter those three little words, taking just nine months on average, compared to older generations, who take up to two years.

Being gifted jewelry is also an incredibly common way people profess their feelings toward their partner, and many receive or gift their first piece around 15 months after starting to date. From an engraved necklace to diamond earrings to a birthstone piece for their birthday, the options are endless.

Here is the average relationship milestones timeline in the U.S.:

Engagement Expectations

Many of us dream of our engagement from a young age, so it’s no secret that we have a clear vision of exactly how we want the proposal to happen, and the type of ring we wish for. But what are the most common engagement expectations across America?

1. ENGAGEMENT TIMELINES

When it comes to our desired engagement timeline, many individuals have a set age or date in mind they wish to be engaged by. But how many of us give our partners a nudge in the right direction when they take a little longer to pop the question than we’d like?

Our research revealed that over one in five Americans felt their engagement timeline was longer than they wished. In fact, 21% of people decided to pop the question themselves because their partner was taking too long.

However, that’s not for everyone. Luckily, many aren’t shy about hinting at a proposal, with 54% admitting they’ve done so — whether subtle or not. And planting the seed of the idea for a proposal pays off, as over a third of Americans said that their dropping hints encouraged their partner to propose.

Here are the most common “hints” people drop when hoping for a proposal from their partner:

Striking a conversation about the future with our partner was the top go-to method when it comes to hint-dropping. More direct approaches follow, including pointing out rings while shopping with a partner, with one in six (17%) of us openly discussing our ring preferences. Just over one in 10 are also bold enough to just straight up ask their partner when they are going to propose.

However, not everyone is as bold, and some take to more “creative” methods of dropping hints. Many use mobile devices to leave a trail of hints; 12% admitted they have or would search for keywords relating to weddings and rings in their partners’ phones with the hope of generating targeted ads, just under one in 10 say liking bridal and ring photos on social media is or would be a go-to tactic, and 7% say “accidentally” sending links or emails of rings to their partner is in their hint-dropping arsenal.

When it comes to dropping hints, those in the younger generation are the most likely to get creative with their suggestions, deploying tactics such as throwing wedding-themed movie nights or eliciting the help of friends and family to broach the topic with their partner.

2. THE ACTUAL ‘PROPOSAL’

Proposing can be a nerve-racking experience for both partners, with so much emotion and anticipation in a single moment. But with 89% of proposals going to plan, those nerves soon turn into excitement and life-long love.

Having a perfect proposal is no easy task, so we’ve asked Americans what aspects are the most important. Unsurprisingly, saying “Yes” came out on top (44%). Following in joint second are the proposal being a surprise and, of course, the engagement ring (27%).

Here are the top 10 most important parts of a proposal:

Our idea of what makes the perfect proposal also varies based on age. Older generations favor an intimate private proposal, while Gen Z is three times more likely than any other generation to hire a photographer or videographer to capture the special moment. They’re also the most likely to uphold the tradition of gaining a parent’s permission before proposing (25%).

3. THE RING

From the stone to the cut to the metal choice, engagement rings come in all shapes and sizes, making it no surprise that it takes Americans over two months to find the perfect one to propose with. But with the engagement ring being the second most important aspect of a proposal, how many of us truly know what our partner desires?

With half of Americans knowing exactly what they want from an engagement ring, it’s unsurprising that almost half (49%) of us outrightly tell our partner about our wishes. A further 46% of individuals said they would actually prefer to take complete control and choose their own ring.

Generational differences also play a key role in our engagement ring preferences, with millennials the most likely to desire a unique engagement ring and favor choosing their own. The younger generations are also more likely to speak about exactly what they want, and in turn, tend to end up happier with the ring they received.

Engagement ring costs 

Selecting the style isn’t the only big decision when it comes to picking out the perfect engagement ring, as cost is also an important factor. But how much are Americans willing to spend on this special symbol of love?

Our research reveals that the average engagement ring spend is around $4,500. However, the story gets more intriguing when we look at regional differences. For instance, individuals in Massachusetts are the most likely to go all out, spending an average of $10,817 on their perfect ring. They’re closely followed by New Mexicans, who spend an average of $7,074, and Oklahomans, who spend around $7,000.

Tips for Pulling Off the Perfect Proposal

Emily Shultz, Director of Fashion Merchandising here at Shane Co.:

“Planning the perfect proposal is the ultimate expression of love. It symbolizes a future promise and demonstrates the deep affection we have for our significant other and our desire to share our lives together.”

Here are a few top tips from Emily for pulling off the perfect proposal:

1. Find out your partner’s ring size

Given that 27% of Americans say the element of surprise is the most important factor in a proposal, we’ve created our ring sizer to help find out your partner’s ring size without them knowing. Simply take one of your partner’s current rings and download the tool to ensure the surprise goes off without a hitch.

2. Listen out for hints

Not only do over half of Americans admit to dropping hints they were ready to get engaged, but 49% say they dropped hints about their desired engagement ring style as well. So I recommend keeping a document of these hints to ensure you choose the perfect ring for your partner that they will cherish forever.

3. Have a discussion about your desired proposal

With so many expectations being placed on a single moment, discussing your dream proposal with your partner is a great way of ensuring expectations are met. Do they want a grand romantic gesture? Do they want an intimate at-home proposal? Do they want their friends, family, or pets involved? Getting as much information as possible will help make it an unforgettable moment for all.

Methodology 

We surveyed over 2,000 Americans, 900 of which have been previously married. Survey was conducted in May 2024. Note, some state or regional data has been excluded due to lack of data.